An Introduction to a Bajan Animal Enthusiast
Hi everyone! :) My name is Daana Roach, and I am a Chemical Biosciences (Pre-Vet) major with minors in Psychology and Biological Conservation. With this odd combination, I am (hopefully) going to pursue a programme in Veterinary Conservation Medicine after I graduate. I want to work with endangered species and in conservation efforts, especially concerning marine life or big cats of the genus Panthera : Amur leopard ( Panthera pardus orientalis ), listed as critically endangered by the IUCN. Source : Wikimedia Commons Psychology isn't necessarily tied to any of these plans, but I really enjoy it. I grew up in Barbados , an island in the Southeast of the Caribbean, and finished up secondary school in Canada before coming to OU. I may be biased, but Barbados has some of the most beautiful beaches in the region. It's 166 sq miles big (or small maybe haha), and has a population of about approximately 300, 000. Personal image taken of Miami Beach at sunset, Barbados.
Daana,
ReplyDeleteYou never cease to amaze me! Your introduction for your story book was something truly unique. Your dedication to mothers is really wonderful and heart-warming. I could not agree more. I really love the poem you included as well. It emphasizes the love of a mother, her sacrifice, her whole existence, as you said, is with their children. We see it every day with our own mothers! I love how you will be incorporating the mothers from the epics. I think something that might interest you is to maybe separate Karna and the Pandav brothers to allow us to understand the experience through her perspective, if that makes sense. She had a different reason for letting Karna go and then creating the Pandav brothers. Then that can be further subdivided as well between the five brothers and the two mothers. I also do think you should indicate which epics you are discussing here. Is it just the Ramayana and Mahabharata? Do you intend to describe their whole experience from both stories on one page or categorized? I really love your page and will definitely be coming back to read more! Thank you for such a wonderful project. It truly is beautiful.
Daana,
ReplyDeleteI love the direction you have chosen to take with your storybook project. After reading Narayan’s version of the Ramayana, followed by F. J. Gould’s version, I found myself intrigued by the inclusion of Sita’s later life at the end of the story in The Divine Archer. Why did Narayan leave that part of the tale out or why did Gould include it? Either way, the consequence could spark a lot of conversation about women, their role that they play as expressed in the Indian Epics, and how it relates in a contemporary context. I felt sorry for the disregard that Sita experienced. Her role as a mother was celebrated to an extent, but her fidelity as a person was tossed aside. You have taken a path with your storybook that celebrates the strength and compassion of women as mothers, which is beautiful in and of itself. I look forward to reading your work as we progress with the storyboard project and seeing with whom and how you explore the topic and how it may elevate the mothers of the Indian Epics.
Daana,
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this Storybook project idea. I am focusing on the women of the Epics also, but have a different set of restraints on my writing -- No men. Your introduction was so well written and one of a kind. I cannot wait to start reading the rest of it! The set up of the website is beautiful and I love the images. However, what I thought was best was the poem. I think that it is gorgeous and creative and probably took a lot longer than any of the stories that I have written! I admire your work. I am really struggling to find anything to say to make this comment constructive feedback! Have you decided on the the time period you will be writing in? Will you be writing the stories of these mothers, as they were in the Epics or will you be modernizing them? I can see the appeal of both, and I can't wait to see what you come up with!
Hi Daana,
ReplyDeleteWOW! Your intro blew my away. It was such a fresh and unique way to set up your story book project. I have not seen such a creative idea! I like that your topic is focused on women since often times they are overlooked or overshadowed by men in the stories but more specifically you are focused on mothers and motherhood and that you are dedicated to writing about them and charing their stories in different ways. I am excited to see how your story book develops and I cannot wait read the stories as you publish them on here. I wonder how did you come to the idea that you wanted to write your story books on motherhood? I am just curious to know. The poem you have is also very well written. It really appeals to ethos and resonate with readers. Overall great job on your story book!
Hi Daana,
ReplyDeleteI really like your storybook idea! Mothers are always brought up and mentioned in these epics, but there's rarely ever much detail or background on how they feel or react to their children's' wild life adventures. I also think the idea of putting the poem into your introduction was very smart. The poem actually embodies the experience and emotions of being a mother. Did you write the poem yourself or was it written by another author? If it is written by another author, I think it would be beneficial to the readers if you left a citation for that, just in case people want to dive further into their work. Also, something that might give your introduction just a bit more detail would be listing which mothers' stories you will be telling. That way the reader will have a general idea of the characters in your storybook. Other than that, great work so far!
Hi~
ReplyDeleteBefore I even finished the first paragraph I was already thinking of examples from our readings that fit with your introduction. I think it shows how well you've understood the epics. To be able to interpret the stories in this way is impressive. I am a little afraid to leave feedback, the poem has such a powerful and emotional ending I wouldn't want anything to take away from that.
This is a bit trivial but I wonder if you would consider moving the image citation to the bottom of the page? I wouldn't want to have distractions that take away from the powerful image. Also, what if you mentioned the mothers your stories will focus on? That may help the reader know more of what to expect as you start posting your works. Thanks for writing! I feel like if I show my mom this poem she will start crying.
Hi Daana,
ReplyDeleteFirst I would just like to say, what a beautiful image you chose for you introduction. I think your overall idea for your storybook is beautiful as well. All mothers are baddass, but mothers in mythology tend to be particularly interesting.
One thing from your story that I loved right away was how you describe the fire in the mother's voice. A mother's protective nature is not something to mess around with, and I like how you capture that in a subtle way right from the start.
I am curious about the setup of your story book. In the first chapter, you talk about three different mothers. I suppose you will continue to talk about all three mothers in each chapter? Or maybe you will have one chapter per mother? Or perhaps you will just let their stories flow naturally. Any way you plan to proceed would work and I am excited to see your finished project.
Hey Daana,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I really like your storybook so far. I find your poems beautiful, creative, and awe-inspiring. Your introduction is solidly structured and doesn't leave any questions about what you are writing and your goal. The use of mothers is a creative and fantastic idea. I enjoy how you use the mothers from the Ramayana to portray different types of motherhood that occupy the same location and circumstance.
Secondly, the one thing that I think could use a little work in your storybook is the transition when talking about individuals. I got wrapped up in the first mother so much because her story was flushed out more, that I was confused when you transitioned to the second and the third mother due to them both having a shorter part in the whole story.
Overall, I really liked your whole storybook. It was beautifully constructed and it shows how much mothers do matter within the family. I can't wait to read more!
Daana,
ReplyDeleteI really like the topic you chose! I think it is super unique and unlike any other project in the class. I think it is great because no one seems to focus on the mothers in these stories. They are always an extension of the husbands and slaves to their sons. There sole purpose seems to be to have the next king and once they do, they are cast away. I liked your first and second story the most because it made so much sense. Rama's mom had to watch her son go on this journey and be exiled because her husband was forced by this other woman. That other woman was just doing what she thought was best for her son, something I am sure every mother would do. I am very interested to see how your other stories turn out and maybe you can create a story of your own where the mother is the heroine of the entire epic. Great job!
Hi Daana,
ReplyDeleteI have already commented before, but I had to read to see more of your work. I loved this story. I couldn't come up with much to suggest and definitely not about the story itself. I think that the Author's note is a bit lengthy (around 500 words), if you don't cut it down a bit, maybe consider breaking into paragraphs? It looks a bit daunting as it is now. Another small detail, your home page is labelled Introduction, as well as your Intro page --The label at the top left of the page--
Apart from that, I only have great praises to sing. I think that the way that you worked to poem into the story was fantastic and even though the story brief for all three women, it didn't seem abrupt the whole story flowed nicely. I can't wait to read more!
Hi Daana,
ReplyDeleteI loved your site and wanted to come back again. Your stories are truly seamless. You really did an amazing job by bringing together the three perspectives of each mother. It was a wonderful interpretation of their feelings. I truly do not have any comments because of perfectly you wrote the story. I think the only suggestion I can think of is maybe adding a title at the top in small letters under your big heading "of the Ramayana" or something. My brain could not for the life of me remember who three wives were. I could catch the vibe that it was the Ramayana, but I am lacking in the memory department hahaha. Also, I am so impressed by your drawing. I absolutely could tell those were three rings. It was so nice that you put your own touch to it. Your site is absolutely adorable, and I love where things are headed here. You are so talented!
Hey Daana,
ReplyDeleteYour storybook was easy to navigate and I liked the pictures you put for each story. I really liked the theme you created for your storybook. The story that intrigued me in your storybook was "Three Wives". It was interesting that the King disowned both Kaikeyi and Bharatha for taking the throne away from Rama in the version you read. I thought it was a twist in your story! Thank you for explaining that in your author's note. For your author's note, you did a really good job in explaining the theme of motherhood for each of the wives of the king. Is there a reason why you did not actually include the names of the wives throughout the story? Although you did separate the story of each of the wives, I think it would help bring better clarification if you include their names. Overall, great story!
Your classmate,
Joanna
Hi Daana, what a cool topic you chose! It focuses on mother in your stories which is pretty neat. I find your layout, poems, and quotes very creative! It is cool to think that mothers do play a big role in a lot of our lives and you turned this into a different type of motherhood in your stories! I like the amount of details you provide in your story, dialogue, and great execution. I can tell you really thought your stories through! You made it in a different perspective which tells me you thoroughly understood the original story. The way you generalize and portray your characters are interesting. Your author’s note was very useful though because it gave me an idea to compare and understand the original story better! Overall, good job! Keep up with the good work, I cannot wait for your finished portfolio.
ReplyDeleteHi Daana, I enjoyed your first story quite a bit. I think its the fact that you allow your audience to realize what they are reading about rather than saying it explicitly, but it is still feasible (actually relatively easy) to realize what we are reading. However, I do take issue with labeling the mothers one, the second, and the last. While this arrangement does separate the three mothers well on a stylistic level, the its jarring in terms of consistency. Saying first second and third, or first, second, last might be less confusing.
ReplyDeleteAs for your second story, I want to start by stating that I like your poem at the end. It fits with the overall tone of the story, and that’s a good thing. You’d be surprised how many people write stories where the tone jumps from goofy comedy to dumb action. You don’t do that, and that’s a good thing.
Hi Danna,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, your website is absolutely beautiful and your tribute to mothers is so genuine and thoughtful. You were spot on with the images you used and everything was very aesthetically pleasing. I also really appreciated how you made everything seem so delicate and gentle, even in the way you wrote your stories. They were all beaming with love and gratitude that a mother has for her children. I think your author's notes were very well organized. I liked how you kind of compartmentalized things so they flowed in order to explain how you wanted your characters to be portrayed within your new story and the connection it fostered with the original. You did a fantastic job at depicting just how much love and joy different mothers within the epics have for their children, despite any of their imperfections. It suited your overall theme extremely well. One thing I might suggest is making your author's note for your Part 2 story more detailed. It might also be helpful to not only expand on the differences made but also give readers a better sense of the varying perspective you saw for your characters and your stories overall.
Daana, everything about your website is so CLEAN. The larger text at the beginning that points the reader's eyes to the image, the paragraph formatting and sentence flow, the poem at the end, the background images, the subtle division in background color between the story and the author's note - I can tell you put a lot of work into your website to match a certain theme and set a certain tone. And the way you write really draws the reader in. It's as if the reader becomes the silent watcher of all these events, noting the lives of all these mothers and their experiences, but yet isn't so troubled by them because, as the title of your website says: it's a cycle.
ReplyDeleteI really love how you have poems in all of them. Poetry is one of the hardest things to write, and it shows your mastery of a language because you have to match the meter and the rhyme scheme - your vocabulary must be large enough to fit the criteria you set. Great work!
Hi Daana, you have such a unique and beautiful story book and loved reading through it. Behind every great character is a mother. We see the sacrifices and love so many of these mothers make and have in our class stories but it isn't really talked about. Your layout was easy to read and aesthetically pleasing. Simple uses of italicize and color help the reader distinguish the parts but overall makes it look professional. Having a singular phrase emphasized before the story really helps set the tone for the story. I like how we see the individualism of each mother's personality but the overarching feelings of love and how interconnected the mother's are. You do a great job of explaining the detail behind your stories in the author's note.Even your stories rhyme and flow works! I can tell that you put a lot of hard work into these and were intentional with your words and it shows. Wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteHi Daana! I think you have one of the most beautiful writing styles I have seen so far. Maybe it is because I am listening to Adagio in D Minor from Sunshine as I am writing this, but you truly have a way with words. I love the topics you chose too. The mothers in the epics often seem to have the butt end of the stick, and I'm glad you've added a point of view to many wonderful mothers in the epic. Your usage of paragraphs was great too, I literally have no criticism against them. You have great flow between paragraphs, and you also seem to have spaced them out well, so I didn't feel like you overused line space, nor did I feel like you made one paragraph that should've been two nor two that should've been one. Overall, fantastic stories! I'm glad I found and read them.
ReplyDeleteI commented on your storybook TWICE before, but had to revisit it again before the class ends. I have no doubt that your work is my favorite. In the Epics, women are not very well represented. We have strong characters but they are not well developed or really involved in their own lives much. The mothers of the Epics seem to have it even worse. Not only did you tie in the poem to each of your stories, but your writing is poetic throughout your stories. You convey such strong emotions, they are focused and make the stories come to life in a way that was lost in the other versions of these stories. I think that your project has been amazing and I honestly have no suggestions or critiques for your writing. Your images fit the stories perfectly and I love that you added in those personal drawings.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your works with us. I really, thoroughly enjoyed reading them!
Hi Daana,
ReplyDeleteI really like the design throughout your entire website. Every single web page was very well organized so I easily understood what I was reading throughout the website. The navigation was also very easy to use. I could go through each web page of the website very easy. The images you chose for every web page on the website were also very good. Every single image helped to add to the immersion of the story for me as the illustrated different aspect of the story on each web page. The color scheme in the throughout each web page in the website is good in helping to covey the theme of the story of motherhood. I also really like the idea of your story. The theme of motherhood in the story is also very interesting because we do not tend to hear about the mother and child relationship in these stories.
Hi Daana! I would like to begin by saying that I absolutely loved going through and reading your storybook. I thought you did a great job at going outside of the box and choosing a very unique topic to write about. I also really liked how you named each of your stories, starting with a number. I thought it was a cute detail that you added. Another thing I wanted to mention was the poems you added in your stories. I also really enjoyed having those additions in your storybook. Did you write them yourself? Or did you find it from somewhere? A few suggestions that I have it to maybe include more images in your storybook. I saw that you drew the pictures for each of the stories, but maybe by adding a couple more or even drawing a couple more would make it draw the attention of the readers even more.
ReplyDelete