Week 10 Lab: Blog Story Revisions, "The Secret"

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Counselling Session". Source: Pixabay

Saliq looked at me with those sad brown eyes. She always seemed to have something on her mind, and there was no mistaking the slight down turn of her lips, as if there was something more weighing her down now. Perhaps this secret was heavier than the rest of the thoughts she usually hid from me.

As I nodded quickly so she wouldn't shy away from telling me, I considered what the quiet girl who had been attending sessions with me for over three months now would say. We usually only discussed trivial items: the latest gossip at school, her archery practice with renowned teachers, and the philosophical readings she was required to complete. She had no problem explicitly stating the things that were going on in her day-to-day life, but never how she was feeling. 

There were times it seemed she was be on the brink of showing me a glimpse, but she would quickly pull back. She either still didn't trust me well enough or was just too used to closing herself off to people.

"There's nothing interesting about how I feel," she would say with a far away look in her eyes. Recently, she had even said that feelings got in the way of 'her purpose', but what it was or to what end, I didn't know.

Now, I tried to hide my eagerness to hear what she had to say and gestured for her to go on. Saliq wrung her hands, a tell-tale sign of worry that she shared with her mother. I'd picked it up from the moment she and her parents had walked into my office. It was one of the only traits they shared, I'd noticed that too.

Her parents were the ones sending her here. Both legally blind though the mother still wore glasses for her own comfort. Bless their souls they were sweet people, but they were forcing their extremely reluctant daughter to come here. With that reluctance, I still hadn't been able to discover what the real reason of sending Saliq to therapy was. We had the superficial goals and "what do you want to get out of the time?" list from the beginning of our first meetings, but I knew it was something else. I could tell her parents grew warier at her progress and I had warned them that Saliq didn't seem like the type to open up, unless it was of her own choice or idea. They didn't see this, however, as all parents tended be blind to their child's behaviour. And they did not see that Saliq was not as social or easy going as they were. She was cold were her parents were warm, and quiet where they were open to conversation. 

I patiently continued to give Saliq more time to think about what she wanted to say as she seemed deeply lost in thought. Finally, she took a deep breath.

"I tried to kill my brother," she said warily, "It was a long time ago. Attempted drowning, but he somehow ended up stronger for it."

I kept a neutral face, but felt shock course through my bones. She came from a huge family with many siblings. Unusually, I hadn't been able to get them to tell me exactly how many siblings, as if the number were too large for me to understand. Her cool tone in stating that her brother had supposedly 'become stronger' after her attempt to murder him made the hairs on my skin stand on edge a bit.

"Why?" I asked steadily. Saliq looked around the room, and I thought she was trying to avoid looking me in the eyes, but I suddenly realised she was checking to see if anyone was listening. Who did she possibly imagine was? Again, I shivered as an eeriness seemed to sweep over the room, as if ghosts too were listening to her secret. 

"Because he was becoming the favourite," Saliq grounded out, "Because he was everyone's first pick. Because he was threatening my birthright."

"Because I am the one who is going to be queen."

"Water Crown". Source: Flickr

Reference: Epified, Mahabharata Episodes 1-8. [Youtube].

*Author's Note: I chose to do a Blog Story Revision for the Week 10 Story Lab, because I felt like the original story to "The Secret" needed something more. Firstly, I wanted to expand some of the story itself, while also providing stronger hints at the identity of "Saliq" in reference to the Mahabharata. In a few comments under the original story, some people said that they didn't realise that "Saliq" was Duryodhana until the Author's Note, so I wanted to include more details (such as the fact that she drowned her brother) that would give people a chance to guess before the ending, for a bit more fun in reading (I like to guess more than be completely lost too!). I also wanted to flesh out both Saliq's colder personality and her therapist's feelings towards her a bit more, so that I could hint that there was something more to her than just meets the eye. Finally, I wanted to include an image that reflected the last few lines to add a more ominous ending, and I picked the "water crown" because not only did Saliq want to be queen, like Duryodhana wanted to be king, but she would drown her own brother out of jealousy and spite to become it.